vatersorgen.de
EN DE
Documented chronology · 2016 – 2026

Ten years.
sets of proceedings.
One child.

Finn was born on 6 May 2016. Since Sunday, 10 April 2022, he has not seen his father. In between lie sets of court proceedings, documents and pages of case file. This chronicle lays them open — dated, evidenced, open to verification.

See how it unfolded Access the file

Every element comes from a document with a verifiable date. Nothing is estimated and nothing is reconstructed. The mother’s name and address have been removed; of the parents’ dates of birth only the year remains. The documents themselves are German originals; this page translates the chronicle around them, not the files.

The father and his son in a park, each holding a bitten apple. The photo carries the words: After 4 endless weeks of waiting — the best 90min of my life.
After four weeks of waiting: ninety minutes.
The question everyone asks first

“What did the father do, that he is no longer allowed to see his child?”

Everyone asks this within the first few seconds. And it carries an assumption: surely nobody takes a child away from a father without a reason.

The file answers it — and the answer is uncomfortable. In ten years, not one document contains an allegation that concerns the child. No report of a contact visit that went badly for Finn. What the file contains instead is something else: the father would not let go. He followed up, named mistakes and took on every office that in his view was not doing its job. That was inconvenient. And from that moment on it was no longer about a father and his son, but about him.

How a father turns into a case

Six steps that arrive back where they started. The spiral is an image — what each step says is either a verbatim quotation from the file or a counted figure. Hover over a number.

    The cross-check

    Two counted series on one axis. The more that was written, the less time the child had with his father. Important, and therefore said here: the records do not show who wrote each individual document — what is counted are applications, statements and appeals from both sides. The contact shares come from the contact log that was kept.

    What you will find in the archive anyway

    This chronicle would be worthless if it committed the very omission it accuses the files of. Three matters that speak against the father, or can be read that way — with case numbers, outcome and the part that is uncomfortable.

    German legal terms in this file

    The case is German, the documents are German, and the European Court of Human Rights uses its own vocabulary for all of it. This page follows the Court; where American usage differs, the American term is given alongside.

    Umgang
    contact (US: visitation) — the child’s right to see the other parent
    Elterliche Sorge
    parental responsibility (US: legal custody)
    Jugendamt
    youth welfare office — the local authority in every German family case
    Verfahrensbeistand
    guardian ad litem — the child’s own representative in the proceedings
    Umgangspfleger
    contact supervisor, appointed to make handovers work
    Amtsgericht / Oberlandesgericht
    local court (first instance) / higher regional court (appeal)
    Beschluss
    court order — the form every decision in family proceedings takes
    Verfahrenskostenhilfe
    legal aid, granted per set of proceedings and repayable in instalments unless waived
    Ordnungsgeld
    administrative fine for breaching a court order
    Hochstrittig
    “high-conflict” — the professional label for cases like this one

    How it unfolded

    Events along the top; below them the proceedings, the officials responsible, the correspondence, and the time the child was allowed to spend with his father. Move the pointer across the area — a click opens the document.

    Show rows:

    The child

    What ten years of proceedings do to a boy — and how much time he had left with his father.

    Time with his father

    Share of the hours in the year that Finn spent with his father. Source: the contact log kept from 2016 to 2023; from 2024 zero, by the court order suspending contact.

    The way down

    Documented steps. The line in the timeline connects them — it is a reading of these events, not a measurement.

    2016 Birth. The father is there from the start and acknowledges paternity before Finn is born.
    2019 The mother applies for sole parental responsibility and for contact to be suspended.
    2022 Last contact in person on Sunday, 10 April. Finn is five.
    2024 The court suspends contact until 31 May 2027.
    2025 Knife incident at school, exclusion from lessons, then a move to special-needs schooling.
    2026 For his tenth birthday Finn asks his father for a football shirt. Handing it over takes a court case.

    Oh yes — the father.

    Every file writes about the child. None writes about the man conducting the proceedings. Yet he is the same person who drafts the applications, pays the child support and drives to a job interview in the morning. This section shows what ten years made of him.

    The rise and fall of an ordinary father

    In the middle, his employment situation — evidenced by contracts, project records and the documents on his present circumstances. Between the salaried years there is freelance work every time: good in the months with a contract, rarely covering its costs taken over the year. Above it, his zest for life: a labeled reading of documented events, not a measurement. The two lines do not fall at the same time by chance. At the bottom, every certification he passed. Dots with a dashed outline are the ones his CV gives without a date — the year there is his own statement; where only a year is known, the dot sits mid-year.

    On narrow screens the curve can be pushed sideways.

    What he built up

    Every examination and certificate course from his CV (as of 2024) and from three certificates held in the original. The order says more than any single line: until 2021 he studied for his profession, from 2021 for the case about his child.

    Job applications

    Counted from his own mailbox from 2019 on — the year the computer was set up afresh. An application counts if the letter is in the sent folder or if an acknowledgment of receipt came back for it. Duplicates have been removed.

    And what came back

    A rejection is an email that expressly ends an application. The rest is what no human being ever answered.

    Before

    What was there before it was gone. Steps from his CV, his contracts and the case file.

    2016 Finn is born. Freelancing since 2002, projects for large companies — in the months with a contract it carries him, taken over the year rarely.
    2018 Certifications in a row: security hacker, PC and network forensics, data protection officer and auditor.
    2019 Senior security consultant at a car manufacturer. In November the mother applies for sole parental responsibility.
    2020 With some luck, a permanent post: Head of Cyber Security, a whole department built from scratch. That same summer, child support becomes an enforceable order.

    After

    What was left. The reason given for the 2022 dismissal is his own account of a conversation — everything else is evidenced.

    2022 Last contact with Finn on Sunday, 10 April. At work the verdict from then on: distracted, permanently sad, more performance expected.
    2023 The job ends. Freelancing again — without the old market and without the old strength. The work does not cover his costs in any month.
    2024 A book about fathers between rampage and suicide, 330 pages. It changes nothing in the proceedings.
    2026 Without means. The child support runs on — €428.50 a month, for a child he is not allowed to see. In these ten years things have never been as bad as they are now.

    In these ten years, not one application, not one court order and not one report ever asked how the father was doing.

    The numbers

    What ten years of family law mean in shelf metres of paper — and what happens when a father writes asking for help.

    Written — and what came back

    How many letters went to each office and how many of them drew any reply at all. What is counted is the formal arrival of an answer — not whether it helped. Basis: the mailbox dirk@vatersorgen.de, sent items complete from April 2025.

    What it cost

    This card is a calculation based on the statutory fee schedules — not a statement of account. It does not say what was paid, deferred, written off or waived; it shows what proceedings of this shape cost under the law. Fees under schedule 2 of the Family Court Costs Act and schedule 2 of the Lawyers’ Fees Act in the version in force at the time; court-appointed experts under fee group M 3 of the Judicial Remuneration Act. Where the records give only indications, a range is shown. In six of 32 sets of proceedings the court granted legal aid — five of them without repayment. Financial need was therefore established by a court. In 26 further sets of proceedings it was refused all the same.

    What he paid

    Child support since Finn’s birth, without a gap. Calculated as the minimum support under § 1612a of the German Civil Code and the Minimum Support Regulation, less half the child benefit under § 1612b(1) no. 1 — at the rates of each year. That is the statutory floor; the amount ordered or actually paid may have been higher.

    Documents per year

    By type of document. 2022 is the year of the break.

    Subject matter of the proceedings

    What was fought over in court, by number of sets of proceedings.

    Looking for a lawyer

    The hearing on 29 July 2026 required legal representation.

    law firms were contacted in July 2026.
    of them never replied.

    In eighteen days. For a hearing about five minutes of handing over a football shirt.

    The people

    Who was responsible for this case — and how often they changed. Every period is evidenced by correspondence. For a child, every change means trusting someone all over again, and being let down all over again.

    The proceedings

    Numbered chronologically by the first dated document. Case numbers and courts come from the documents themselves.

    The archive

    Full-text search across the entire body of case records. Titles and text are the German originals — search in German.

    Access to the file

    The complete body of case records is open to inspection — for legal expenses insurers, for lawyers, for authorities and courts, for specialist bodies and for newsrooms. The chronicle is generated automatically from the original documents; every statement can be traced back to a dated document.

    What is evidenced

    The date, case number, court and type of every document come from the document itself. 528 documents carry a verified date.

    What is not shown

    The mother’s name and address have been removed from titles, full text and PDFs; of the parents’ dates of birth only the year remains. Places, courts, case numbers and public officials are named.

    The film

    A video piece about the case, in German.

    Watch it

    Contact

    For questions, access to the file and supporting documents. German or English.

    dirk@vatersorgen.de